


Sunny Soda Breeze

by bellutrixlestrange



Category: Free!
Genre: Extreme angst, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 10:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5159786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellutrixlestrange/pseuds/bellutrixlestrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't it have been me?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunny Soda Breeze

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RoseNox98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseNox98/gifts).



> I'm so sorry

It was a nice day. The sun was shining, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The weather was beautiful. It felt like a joke.

“Why?” He said to nobody in particular. “Why did this happen? Why him? Why did it have to be him? Why couldn’t it have been me?” He whispered the last sentence so quietly he could barely hear himself. There were tears rolling down his cheeks.

He could remember all too clearly how it happened. It was almost as if he was living in a flashback. He could still see the flashing lights; could still hear the screeching of metal as the train derailed. He hit his head pretty hard and blacked out, and when he woke up it was to see his friends around his hospital bed. His friends who then said the words that broke his heart.

It didn’t feel real. Even after three years, it still felt like just yesterday when he and his boyfriend had been riding the train to school, just as they had every day. They would have gotten off at the next stop, but of course the next stop never came. The investigators never figured out what made the train derail. They thought it might have been a terrorist attack, but no terrorist organization came forward to claim responsibility, so they were at a loss. All they knew was that the train had derailed and 17 passengers had been killed.  
He hadn’t ridden a train since. He just couldn’t bring himself to get on one. It didn’t feel right to ride a train without him, especially riding a train to school. Even just standing in a train station without him felt wrong. It felt empty, no matter how crowded the place was.

He went through therapy to help him come to terms with what happened, and went to a support group every Saturday. Nothing helped. Three years and it still hurt like hell. Everyone always said “It’ll get easier with time. You’ll move on.” But there was no moving on. Not for him. He couldn’t move on, only forward. He went through the first four steps of grief, but he just couldn’t get that last one, acceptance. Try as he might, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to accept what had happened.

All that brought him to today. Such a nice, sunny day, exactly three years after he had lost the love of his life. He stood in front of his lover’s grave marker and started sobbing. He dropped to his knees grasping at the ground. The man stared at the name on the stone and smiled through his tears. “I’ll see you soon, Rei.” 

Nagisa Hazuki closed his eyes for the last time.


End file.
